No, no it isn’t. I spend too much time here to think it’s the most annoying phrase, but it is pretty bad. Nevertheless, I am headed straight for my twenty fifth birthday, and I’m not sure what else to call my sudden need to publish my life.
Between the ages of approximately twenty one and twenty three I worked in a bar and made some of the best friends of my life. This place wasn’t just any bar, it was my first big city bar. It was also the first bar I worked in for more than a year, and the first place I held any real responsibility. It was also the bar that drove me to a minor mental breakdown, but let’s not dwell on that here.
Those best friends and I were called Team Amazing. There were four of us, and a few others we allowed to be honorary members. We were all of a similar age, worked together and had the same interests. Those interests were mostly drinking, watching bad films, and bitching about our boss. We once wrote down some rules for a night out, and they included the following:
- Be Awesome
- Do NOT drink pints of gin and tonic
That’s all I remember. I’m not sure we stuck to that second rule.
Since the heady days of pints of gin, I’ve got married, one lovely boy has had a baby, another found God and the best of best friends, the other half of a sub-team called Girl Amazing, is moving to Korea for work. I’m not sure if it’s possible to show more succinctly how much everyone changes in the few years of their mid-twenties.
So, crisis really isn’t the right word. We’re all pretty happy with the turns our lives have taken. My wedding and marriage was and is, if not blissful, really quite brilliant. The new baby is a perfect little poop machine and the new Dad is tired and happy in equal measures. Our evangelist has found something that makes him happy and more fulfilled. And my darling Girl Amazing is going to have the most exciting adventure of her life.
Only, now we don’t hang out much any more. In a few days my Girl is going to be on the other side of the world for at least thirteen months. Babies, we have discovered, are quite the time suck, which leaves far fewer opportunities for ill-advised drinking. So do jobs with ‘normal’ working hours. So, I think that’s where my ‘crisis’ is coming from. In our mid-twenties our lives change fundamentally and very quickly, often taking away the tight support systems you had before then. While I’m wondering if my life has any purpose now that the temporary distraction of wedding planning is gone, another friend is too sleep deprived to think in whole sentences and another is trying to learn an alien language* in a matter of days.
We’ll always be Team Amazing, but the nature of that team is shifting and it’s sometimes scary to trust that we’ll come out of it unscathed.
* Have you seen Korean?